


All The Words You Need

by fitofpique



Category: Nurse Jackie (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Misses Clause Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2012-12-19
Packaged: 2017-11-21 14:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/598843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fitofpique/pseuds/fitofpique
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackie's learning how to deal with feeling stuff. It's a work in progress.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All The Words You Need

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GMTH](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GMTH/gifts).



Jackie listened to O'Hara's voicemail message for the umpteenth time. 

Beside her, Zoey frowned. "Still no answer?"

Jackie set her phone down, spinning it on the table top. "Maybe she turned off the ringer so it wouldn't wake the baby." 

"Maybe," Zoey said, "but you don't think so."

"No," Jackie admitted. 

"Okay," Zoey said, "then we're going over there."

*

They stood in the hallway outside the door listening. Inside, Jackie could hear voices, taut and muffled. She turned and looked at Zoey, whose eyes were so wide they were taking up fully half of her face.

"Should I knock or use my key?" she asked.

"Knock first?" Zoey said. She clutched her fuchsia Tupperware container to her chest with both hands and bit her lip. 

"Okay," Jackie said, "here goes." She put both of the shopping bags she was carrying in her left hand, rapped the door three times with her knuckles, and took a step back. 

O'Hara opened the door almost immediately.

"Jacks," she said, smiling a fake, edgy smile. She looked a little like she was running a fever, flushed and twitchy, and she only opened the door halfway so Jackie couldn't see past her into the apartment. 

"Eleanor," Jackie responded, raising her eyebrows and smiling back. "Everything okay?" 

"What?" O'Hara said, leaning against the door jamb. "Yes, of course. Everything's fine." She was a really terrible liar. 

"I called a bunch of times," Jackie said. 

"She did," Zoey said, nodding solemnly. "We were worried." 

"Thank you for your concern but, as you can see, there's no need. I've just been ... nesting." She winced and shook her head. 

"Is it the diapers?" a voice yelled from inside the apartment. A man's voice. Coop's voice? 

Oh, come on. "Coop's here?" Jackie asked, trying to keep her voice even. "That why you're not answering your phone?" 

O'Hara crossed her arms in front of her chest and frowned. "It's not what you think," she said, shuffling backward, swinging the door open, and giving Jackie a pointed look.

"Hey, I don't think anything," Jackie said, crossing over to the island and setting down the shopping bags. 

"He's just–" O'Hara shrugged helplessly. 

Zoey followed Jackie in, gawking at the apartment shamelessly. "Your apartment is guh-or-geous, Dr. O'Hara."

"Thank you, Zoey," she said.

"Contractors all done?" Jackie said, opening the fridge door. She shifted things around to make room for the milk and eggs and yogurt and tangerines. 

O'Hara nodded, leaning against the opposite side of the island and watching Jackie put a bag of granola into a mostly empty cupboard. "I paid them a bloody fortune to finish everything while we were in hospital." She took a look around the room and sighed happily. "It was completely worth it."

Jackie held up the bag of coffee she'd brought. "Cupboard or fridge?" 

"Oh," O'Hara moaned, "let's make some now." 

"You got it," Jackie said, 

"I made cupcakes," Zoey said.

"Bless you, Zoey," O'Hara said. "I'm starved."

Zoey popped the lid off the Tupperware and slide the container across the island. "Double chocolate."

Coop slid into the kitchen in his socked feet, baby cradled in one arm. "Did someone say cupcakes?" He was wearing a white oxford with grey sweatpants and his hair was flat on one side. 

"Coop," Jackie said, nodding at him. "You been helping out?" 

"Yes, he has," O'Hara said, crisp as an apple. 

"I have," Coop agreed. "He peed in my mouth when I was changing him earlier. It was amazing. Disgusting but amazing." 

O'Hara rolled her eyes and wordlessly handed Coop a cupcake before taking a second for herself. 

"Wow, that's great," Jackie said, congratulating herself for sounding about a million percent less irrationally annoyed than she was actually feeling. She folded up the shopping bag and shoved it into a drawer. "Okay, hand him over," she said, gesturing impatiently until Coop stuffed the cupcake into his mouth so he could pass her the baby. 

The baby yawned and stretched before settling into Jackie's arms and looking up at her with a serene expression. She fluffed her fingers through the down on his head and touched the delicate curve of his lip. His eyes fluttered and then closed. 

"He's so good," Coop said, in between bites, wiping icing off his lower lip. "He hardly ever cries." 

Jackie thought of Grace as a baby, her damp, red face, the constant scrunch of her eyelids. Her reluctance to be soothed. All the tenderness Jackie had ever felt, surging up with nowhere to go. She pressed her lips to the baby's smooth forehead and blinked away the prickling behind her eyes. "So," she said, pushing her hair away from her face and tucking the baby's blanket in a little more snugly. "Miles?" 

O'Hara had rounded the island and was leaning back against it, looking at Jackie and the baby and smiling, a real one this time. "After my father," she said, tracing the shell of the baby's ear with her finger. "He'd be absolutely furious with me." 

"He doesn't like his name?" Coop asked. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, leaning back against the cupboards, looking rumpled and tired but comfortable. At home.

"No," O'Hara said, grimacing. "He doesn't approve of single mothers." 

Jackie stared down at the baby in her arms and wondered about her own father, what he would have had to say about her new life, her family. Her stomach knotted instantly. It really wasn't worth thinking about. "Fuck him," she said, smiling at O'Hara. "You're going to be a great mom."

O'Hara slid closer, so their hips bumped. She stared down at the baby, soft curtain of hair hiding her face. "Thank you," she said. 

Jackie nudged her back, some of the tension that had been sandpapering her nerves melting away. "You're welcome." 

"This is a beautiful moment," Zoey whispered, shuffling in close and wrapping her arms around their shoulders, "and I want in." 

"Is it my turn to hold him yet?"

*

The knock at the door startled them all.

O'Hara made a bemused face and got up to answer it. 

"Did someone order Chinese?" Gloria asked, a steaming paper sack in each hand. 

"This is the best day," Coop said. He was lying on his back on the carpet in the middle of the living room.

"Gloria, this is so kind of you," O'Hara said, taking one of the bags.

"Oh, I know," Gloria said, setting the other bag down on the coffee table and taking off her coat. "Okay, baby me." 

Zoey pressed a kiss to the top to the baby's head before handing him over. 

"Who's my little man?" Gloria cooed, "who's my handsome little man?"

*

"When's your meeting with Cruz?" Gloria asked, swirling red wine around in her glass.

Jackie swallowed heavily, her mouth suddenly dry. Her hands were sweating. "Uh, next Thursday? I guess he's taking some time off to deal with ... stuff." She couldn't even think about it let alone say it. The thought of Charlie ... no. She couldn't. She took a deep, shuddering breath and exhaled as slowly as she could. 

O'Hara leaned over until their shoulders touched, and Jackie gave her a grateful, sideways look. She took another breath and forced her locked muscles to relax. 

"You're taking a Union rep," Gloria said in a tone that brooked no argument. 

"Yes, I'm taking a Union rep. And my lawyer."

"Good," Gloria said, "that's good. Did you call Charmaine at Kings County?"

"I did. I have an interview a week Monday." She set her plate down on the carpet at her feet. "Thank you for everything, Gloria. You've been great. I really appreciate it." 

She shrugged. "You're a good nurse, Jackie. This city needs you." 

"Wear the jacket I gave you," O'Hara said. "And come over before. I'll do your makeup." 

"I'll write you a reference," Coop said. 

"Oh! I can help you prep for the interview!" Zoey smoothed an imaginary skirt, crossed her legs, and stared at Jackie with a faux-serious expression. "Ms. Peyton, what would you say is your greatest strength?" 

A sudden swell of feeling tightened Jackie's throat, made it hard to get the words out. "I have amazing friends," she said.

*

O'Hara paused in the entry to the living room. "Where'd everyone go?" she asked.

Jackie slid sideways on the couch to make room for her. "Zoey has an early shift. She and Gloria shared a cab." 

"Right. Well, the baby's asleep," O'Hara said, collapsing next to her. "I thought he'd never stop eating, Jacks. I'm going to need a breast lift after this is all over." 

Jackie laughed. "Oh, you will. Speaking of boobs, Coop's asleep too," she said, nodding at the arm chair in the corner. 

O'Hara smiled, but it looked forced. "I should wake him up and send him home," she said. In the faint light trickling through from the kitchen, her face looked wistful and lovely.

"But?" 

"But I like having him here, all right?" She sighed deeply. "My God. What the hell am I doing?" 

Jackie lifted her hands in the air. "Hey, hey, I am the very last person to judge. You know that." 

O'Hara looked up at her from her sprawl on the couch. "You're judging a bit," she said, her voice wry, but the corner of her mouth was curving up. "Jacks, I know he's an ass–"

Jackie shrugged and nodded her agreement.

"–but he wants to be here. He's great with the baby, and he doesn't seem to expect ... I don't think he expects much of anything to be honest. He just seems to wants to help."

Jackie opened her mouth, but she didn't get a chance to speak.

"I know, I know. Lots of people want to help, I saw that today. You're right! You're right. What on earth was I thinking? I'll send him home." 

"Eleanor, stop, okay? Stop. Take a breath. Just ... take a deep breath."

O'Hara did what she was told and gazed at Jackie sadly. "What should I do, Jackie?"

"You don't have to figure it all out today. What you've decided to do, raising a baby by yourself ... it's a lot. For anyone. I know you want to do everything on your own, but it's impossible. You're not super woman. You're going to need help, and that's okay. That's normal." Jackie brushed O'Hara's hair back and watched the tension start to fade from her face. She was getting it right, for once, saying the right thing, and she was kind of loving herself for it. "Whatever you decide, whatever you do, you're going to be fine, okay?" 

O'Hara draped her arm over her eyes and sighed again. "Okay," she agreed. 

Jackie stroked her hand through O'Hara's hair one more time then nudged at her shoulder. "Go get some sleep."

*

Jackie's eyes flew open. She lay in the dim listening, trying to figure out what woke her. Down the hall, the baby cried quietly. She sat up, trying to untangle herself from the blanket she was wrapped in, and the crying abruptly stopped. She could hear Coop talking to the baby in a sing-song voice but couldn't make out what he was saying.

She peered at her watch. Time to get up. She headed for the kitchen to make coffee. She was halfway through her first cup when Coop staggered down the hall and made a beeline for the coffee machine. He poured himself a cup, took a sip, and flipped on the electric kettle. When Jackie gave him a questioning look, he shrugged. "She's drinking some special tea that's supposed to encourage breast milk production."

Jackie sighed "What are you doing here, Coop?"

"I'm just having a coffee," he replied, but he didn't meet her eyes.

"Coop," she said, frowning and kicking him in the foot. 

"Fine!" he said, lifting his hands in surrender and sloshing coffee all over himself when he forgot he was still holding a cup. "Shit, ow," he said, setting his cup on the counter and blowing on his wrist. "Ow." 

Jackie shook her head and handed him some paper towels, watched him wipe up. 

He dragged the task out longer than necessary and then refilled his cup before he finally looked at her, his face as serious as she'd ever seen it. "Jackie, look. You know me, right?" He stared at her expectantly.

She shrugged and nodded. "I guess, yeah." 

"I'm a good guy," he said, earnestly, "but I'm bad at ... stuff."

"Stuff?" she asked, taking another sip of her quickly cooling coffee.

"Meeting people, dating, relationships," he said, a defensive edge creeping into his voice. "Stuff." 

"True," Jackie said. "But what does that have to do with this?"

He shrugged and took a long swallow from his coffee. "Well. O'Hara and I already know each other. I don't have to pretend I'm cool with her–"

"Lucky for you," Jackie muttered.

He kept talking, his expression wounded. "I love kids, and I really like O'Hara," he said, a hectic flush rising in his cheeks, "and she would never ask for help, even if she really needed it. So," he paused and looked away, "I'm just being a friend." 

Jackie stared at his profile, the tip of his ear, which was red now too. She thought about what he said. She was pretty sure only the last part was a lie. She sighed again. "Coop, just–"

"Is this the part where you threaten to murder and emasculate me if I hurt her?" His empty hand twitched and Jackie grabbed his wrist before he could go for her boob. 

"What? No! Just ... buy her some good Scotch. Make her a shrimp cocktail, grill her a steak. Rub her feet. See what happens." 

"Okay, booze, protein, work the tootsies. Got it." He smiled, wide and ridiculous.

"And Coop?" she continued.

"Yeah, Jackie?" 

She smiled at him, but it wasn't a nice smile. "If you hurt her, I will emasculate and then murder you. Note the order."

He nodded and swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing convulsively in his throat. "Duly noted." 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Yuletide, GMTH! And thanks to [redacted] for beta reading!


End file.
